Happiness is only skin deep

8:20am: if only i could find the cure for this broken heart!:/

12:49pm: such a loser
so anyone up for changing the layout of my journal. haha...anyways today is the last day of school for the week score 3 day weekend. i erally want to go get a pumpkin i shall go by halloween. not much to say today.
fairwell
your lonley stranger

12:48pm: fall times
so...time is so consuming...i have no time to update this and well i feel i should even if it takes away from something else..it feels nice to get feelings out that you had held in for awhile. with stress and depression taking over my body i feel in pieces crying out of no where feeling poopy all the time. not a fun feeling at all. its alomost halloween and i dont even feel like doing anything for it sure i wqant the free candy but i would rather just carve a pumpkin and have some candy and go to sleep. its just another day to me..its all most november and then it will be x-mas..and i have no money. i remeber last year i was so eager to find the right presnt for my friends..for x-mas i was so excited about them too..i hate how your life changes so durastically and how you tend to miss your old best freinds and those rainy cold days or when your having a bad day. they say time heals all wounds or does it? im not really sure i just know that its a constant struggl;e to stay sane and actually thinking on the right track..at least it is for me.i want a scarf wait (i want to make my own scarf) with cool material. the leaves are changing colors and it reminds me of how we change and it makes me sad because i feel like a leave who was blew off the tree but i guess its okay..i wish i could be nicer i wish i could let my mom know i love her tons and i dont want her to hurt because of me. it hurts her to see me hurt and it seems like im always hurting i wish i could find a cure but that would never happen..so yea i think i should invest in a fish the little puffer fish..so i could be a bit happier in my day. i love pretty things. i just wish i could be a little more happyier throughout my day! love to all..love and loss...ahhh...fairwell.

your lonley stranger!

5:22pm: BEING BORED IS A WASTE OF TIME..*
WHY ARE MOMS ALWAYS THE GAYEST...GEEZ I WAS ALL SET TO GO TO THE MALL AND BUY A COOL FREAKING SWEAT3R AND A PRETTY PINK SCARF AND POSSIBLY THE SHOCKING GAME BUT O I WAIT ALL WEEK FOR THIS DAY AND WHEN IT COMES MY MOM SAYD SHE DOESNT FEEL GOOD WELL I THINK THATS SHIT SHE CAN GET HE FAGGEDY ASS NAILS DONE BUT WONT TAKE ME TO THE ALL...TODAY WAS A GOOD DAY TOO..AND MY LONG LOST MOTHER CALLED FROM ARKANSAS AND SAID I HAVE 50$ WAITING FOR ME I WAS LIKE CHAA MAN. SO I HAVE TO GO PICK THAT UP..NOW I AM 50 BUCKS RICHER.AND IM DEBATING IF IN 2 WEEKS I WANT TO GO TO ARKANSAS WHICH WOULD MEAN LEAVING AAREN..I DONT KNOW ITS A HARD DECISION NOT TALKING TO HIM FOR LIKE 4 DAYS AND NOT SEEING HIM FOR LIKE 5 GEE ILL THINK ON THAT ONE...ANYWAYS MY NEXT WONDER A PRETTY NEMO FISH..AND AN ANENMIE...GOSH..PARTY AT GREGS AND I DONT WANT TO GO LIFE IS BORRING THESE DAYS I MISS MY OLD SELF..BEFORE HAIVNG A SERIOUS B/F I FELT FREEDOM BUT ITS ALL GOOD! I GUESS SOMEDAY I WOULD OF HAD TO FIN THAT SPECIAL GUY..I FEEL PLAGUED...HMM..? WHEREE DID MY MIND GO ITS ALL A BLUr AS IF YOU STEPPED INTO A PUDDLE AND TIRRED THE PICTURE UP..MAYBE ITS JUST ME...WHO CARES ::FUCK THE SILENCE::
monicA

4:19pm: wow! long time NO write!
so...i decided to start writing in this thing again until i get borred of it! me and massiel well..yea we are going to write jen when we are in class and be the freinds who are freindly. i miss you jen and happy birthday!!!!! well yea today was pretty gay. dentist appointment got resheduled and now im stuck with braces for another week. bla.. party on saturday gregs house...nothing more i guess.. aaren smells like poo poo and i want to go on the taking back sunday matchbopok romance fall out boy concert on oct 12 in frisco.. hmm..got to find money for tickets! well i must go i have an essay!
monicA

9:19am: MomS aRE BitCheS
i was going to go surfing today we had it all planned out. and guess what she fuckin bails on me what kinda shit is that. i would care so much if it was just me going but it was katey too..shes going to be pissed and i feel bad because we all wanted to go and had money and are clothes packed then my mom makes up some lame excuse that she is sick. she looks fine to me she is up running around getting dressed..obvisouly not sick. all well im just MAD.life is gay i hate spring break its bites ass. stupid parents and stupid life. I HATE IT ALLL!

9:49am: Yum! EAsteS Candy!
hello everyone this thing was hard to make look a little bit normal! dam i keep having some wack ass dreams and i do not like them..i cannot stay strong its hard because then my mind comes crashing down on me! i miss you aaren. the aaren i loved! hmm i hate being depressed!

11:55pm: ha i keep changing shit
RAAA...i love jen!

11:45pm: I SudDenLy aPpeared
yo..got this to read jens entries. wahoo..love you!